My mom went back to school when she was twenty seven years old; she worked hard and saved for her education so that she could do something that she wanted to do. She was in her first year of university when she had me, she stayed at home with me during the day and on nights and weekends my dad would take over when she attended night classes and Saturday classes. I do not have any memory of my mother being absent over this time, I was put into university daycare at UofC when I was one and saw my mom every lunchtime; we even used to go get frozen yogurt after daycare before dinnertime. I remember being three years old and watching my mom waddle up on to the stage; she was eight months pregnant with my sister. She was glowing and smiling, after four years of hard work she did it. She had completed her Bachelors degree with being a full time mother, wife and daughter.
My entire life I had never really thought about doing anything besides going to university after high school, really I never even had another option. My parents have raised me in a manner that post secondary education was the only way to go. When I graduated all I wanted to do was to take a gap year and go and see the world, exactly like my mom had done when she was eighteen. As far as my parents were concerned however that was completely out of the question. It was always about education in my house, in grade eleven I failed math. I could not even imagine going home to tell my parents, I was so scared of the wrath that I was positive was to follow that I hid it from them for weeks. When it finally came out I was greeting with the agreement of repeating math and meeting with a tutor once a week.
Sixteen years later I am sitting in a room watching my mom give her final presentation for her master’s degree. It is the most beautiful day outside, the sun is shining and the sky is clear and blue. I am sitting in a back corner listening to my mom talk; she talks about everything she has learned about in the past two years. She talks about the passing of my grandpa and how it was what pushed her to start her education journey. She talks about the struggles of being a good mother and wife when focusing every weekend on homework and readings; she explains how this process has changed her. I have seen it myself watching her change for the past two years; she has become a lot more easy going and doesn’t stress out over the small things anymore.
As I listen to my mom speak I am completely overwhelmed with emotion; I am so proud of her and so happy that she has accomplished something that means so much to her. Tears stream down my face in hot rivers, the heat of them almost burns my skin. In that moment I realize that it is not a question of can I do it, it is more of a mentality of let’s do it. In that forty minute presentation my way of thinking changed, I stopped thinking about school and a burden and nuisance, and started thinking of school as what it was; a great chance to make something of myself. My mom has been nothing short of an amazing role model, she has always supported me in anything that I have chosen to do. She has been pushy and protective my entire life, but now as I am older I just realize that her and my dad only wanted what was best for me; they wanted to give me opportunities that neither of them ever got to experience. I always thought of my parents as the ‘’bad guy’’ now I am just truly grateful for the amazing opportunities I have received. I wish I had known then what I know now so I could have capitalized on the opportunities instead of wasting them. The advice I give to my siblings the most now has to be mom and dad really are not what they seem to be and that no matter what; they do it because they love you and want you to have the best of everything.
No comments:
Post a Comment